“Ah! ARGH! Dude! Stop squirting me in the face.”
“Take that vampire! It’s holy water! Wait, why aren’t you melting?”
“Because it’s just a myth. You got a towel or something? I am dripping holy water…”
“Wait. Aren’t you a vampire?”
“Yes.”
“Why isn’t the holy water working?”
“Dude, I just told you. The Holy water thing is a myth. Actually, most of it is a myth to keep the church feeling relevant. Towel?”
“Oh. right. Here ya go.”
“Thank you.”
“Are… are you going to eat me now?”
“Dude. No. I am just here to deliver your food.”
“What? My food?”
“Yes. I have a few burritos here, a salad and two Mr Pibbs.”
“Oh. Thanks . So, you aren’t going to eat me?”
“No. Dude. We don’t do that anymore. We get what we need from donors.”
“Donors?”
“Yea, look, the app total doesn’t include a tip.”
“Oh, right. I guess I owe you something for squirting you in the face. Uh, will a ten be O.K.? I feel bad now.”
“Yea, that’s good. Thanks. Don’t worry about the holy water. Happens all the time.”
“Oh, well. Thanks again then.”
“If you could give me a 5 star on the app, that would be awesome.”
“Sure! Sure. I mean. Thanks for being cool about this.”
“Yea. Well. I gotta go. I have other deliveries. Enjoy your food.”
“Keep the towel in case you need it again.”
“Thanks, man. Have a good night.”
“You, too. Hey guys, our burritos are here!”
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5 Stars by Idgie Stark is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.
