5 Stars

“Ah! ARGH! Dude! Stop squirting me in the face.”

“Take that vampire! It’s holy water! Wait, why aren’t you melting?”

“Because it’s just a myth. You got a towel or something? I am dripping holy water…”

“Wait. Aren’t you a vampire?”


“Why isn’t the holy water working?”

“Dude, I just told you. The Holy water thing is a myth. Actually, most of it is a myth to keep the church feeling relevant. Towel?”

“Oh. right. Here ya go.”

“Thank you.”

“Are… are you going to eat me now?”

“Dude. No. I am just here to deliver your food.”

“What? My food?”

“Yes. I have a few burritos here, a salad and two Mr Pibbs.”

“Oh. Thanks . So, you aren’t going to eat me?”

“No. Dude. We don’t do that anymore. We get what we need from donors.”


“Yea, look, the app total doesn’t include a tip.”

“Oh, right. I guess I owe you something for squirting you in the face. Uh, will a ten be O.K.? I feel bad now.”

“Yea, that’s good. Thanks. Don’t worry about the holy water. Happens all the time.”

“Oh, well. Thanks again then.”

“If you could give me a 5 star on the app, that would be awesome.”

“Sure! Sure. I mean. Thanks for being cool about this.”

“Yea. Well. I gotta go. I have other deliveries. Enjoy your food.”

“Keep the towel in case you need it again.”

“Thanks, man. Have a good night.”

“You, too.¬†Hey guys, our burritos are here!”
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5 Stars by Idgie Stark is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.

Author: idgiestark

Writer of things.

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